Month: January 2014
does it matter what a woman looks like ?
If you meet a woman of whatever complexion who sails her life with strength and grace and assurance, talk to her!..To me a woman who radiates confidence, is well versed and thoughtfully conscious of her world..and life..is truly the woman getting to know has nothing to do with silly filters like race, height and weight..the biggest cross a woman has to beat in life is dealing with those horrid creatuers…myself included…callled..men
On the complex subject of Choices…we all make them
Ah yes…it is a complicated thing….to make a choice…Choices..Se all make them everyday. Some are good, and some are not so good. You can surrender your destiny to the desires of others, or you can make your own. You can chose a Master who loves you and you alone..or you can accept a man..who loves you and yet has other women he apparently “loves as well”. In business you can make a business choice with emprical data…and be covered…..and yet with affairs of the heart..you have to rely on more of the emotional approach…going with your gut..for in many cases you do not have enough emotional data to make a truly informed decision..then again emotions are not clinical data so you would not be expected to have that kind of rigor.. The point is that we can make choices that help us to move forward through life, adversity, loneliness…emotional need, or we may make choices that assist others to move beyond or through some of life’s issues…like aging…..emotional trauma of a loss of a loved one, etc.
William Jennings Bryan once said:
“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
..he point of my missive..is that everyone has a choice.let me says this again…Everyone Has A Choice . I have know women in abusive relationships (Vanilla and BDSM) who have told me they stay because they have no choice…touting things like emotional stability, financial limitations to go out on their own..etc…Let me say this again..everyone has a choice ..to stay or leave..Choices are within everyone’s command. No one has to do, or is obligated to live their lives as others live. On the other hand, inevitably at some point in our lives, we witness, first-hand, choices that other people, friends, family members or colleagues make that we can clearly see are leading them down a slippery slope to either immediate devastating consequences, or a future that can be potentially harmful.
I guess the other thing I have learned over the years..online and in real life..is you cannot do this for them. As caring people, we probably have all made efforts to try and assist other individuals to change or alter a choice so they won’t experience what we feel will be negative reactions, rejection, or, worse still, criminal prosecutions. While there is nothing inherently wrong or misguided about our good intentions, the ultimate choice people make is entirely up to them. We can’t live other people’s lives for them; we don’t want to put ourselves in any position that appears or demonstrates that we own their problems or own their choices. These people own their own lives; they make the choices, good or bad.
Choices. We make hundreds of choices in our lives. Other people make hundreds of choices. We might wish and hope that we can change other peoples’ choices so they can avoid potential problems be that drug abuse, alcohol, relationships, parenting and on and on. But, we cannot make choices for others – what we can strive to do is offer constructive opinions or suggestions, when asked, or referrals to professionals who can assist in one’s decision-making. Be inspired bythe words of W. Clement Stone, they may help you, or may help others keep moving forward through the never-ending maze of choices:
One of the hardest things though you learn with life is when you decide you want to start a new relationship and end the old one..there is a common misconception that you can still “remain friends” with the old lover/relationship. While I have seen it happen on rare occasion…it is very rare to truly recapture all the good you had when you were in a relationship…and have that sameness once you have a new person in your life….it can happen but alas not often enough for my liking. I think we shoudl always cherish those who brought you to where you are today but also do not discount when one makes the choice ..that damn choice thing again..there are emotions..and at least one of the two people in the relationship is a bit hurt..has to do with that deep seated insecurity we all harbor inside of being “less than good enough for someone else>” So please be thoughtful when you do make any choice..to pursue something new..whether a career….a relationship ..or a travel destination….we all need to make choices and more importantly we all need to live with the consequences of our choices…final thought….
“You always do what you want to do. This is true with every act. You may say that you had to do something, or that you were forced to, but actually, whatever you do, you do by choice. Only you have the power to choose for yourself.”
Make fun and good choices this weekend…
Peace,
Sir Erospainter
the wisdom of Leonardo Da Vinci
“There are three classes of people: those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see.”
“All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions”
“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.”
“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
“A painter should begin every canvas with a wash of black, because all things in nature are dark except where exposed by the light.”
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.”
“One has no right to love or hate anything if one has not acquired a thorough knowledge of its nature. Great love springs from great knowledge of the beloved object, and if you know it but little you will be able to love it only a little or not at all.”
“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death”
Life and Journies
“Each of our lives’ is a separate and precious journey. No matter how happy, sad, painful, tragic or confusing it may by, it is unique and beautiful. No matter if we hurt others or if we ourselves were hurt, it happened and it is part of our story.
If we think we can have complete control over this journey, our journey will wake us up… usually with a very unpleasant surprise.
More than genetics, money or education, it is our journey who defines who we are. It defines what kind of person you are. Not the experiences you encountered nor the happy or traumatic events you may have endured. But rather how we dealt with those events and how we continue to deal with those events; when we evaluate ourselves and how we treat others.
Your journey is part of your story. But it is not the complete story of who and how you are. You are a soul, a spirit, who has traveled through this life and along the way; you learned and gathered bits and pieces from here and there. And you, yourself, have woven together a soul, a spirit. And that is who you are today. You define… you.
Oh, and just in case you thought your journey, your story was over… surprise, its not. So keep weaving. You are not finished yet. It is never to late to define who you are.”
― José N. Harris
there is joy in the journey
“One of the secrets of life is to find joy in the journey.”
But Grandma, you weren’t on *this* journey. It was just crazy–“
Grandma held up her hand. “You have six brothers. You got to spend a whole day in the car with them. You’re all healthy, well fed, happy… Someday, when you’re a little older, I’ll bet you’d give anything to be back in that van of yours with all of your brothers, smelly diapers and all.”
I mulled that over.
Well what about Dad?” I pointed out. “He didn’t find any joy in the journey. He was yelling at trees.”
Grandma sat back, “Your father and mother are masters at finding joy in the journey.”
I didn’t understand.
Grandma continued, “Do you really think your parents would have had seven kids if they couldn’t find joy in the journey?… I would be willing to wager that he’ll be laughing about this trip on Monday morning with his friends at work.”
Grandma took my hands into hers. “There are a lot of people in this life that will try to convince you that they’re selling something that will bring you joy. The simple fact of the matter is that *things* don’t bring you joy. You have to find joy in life experience. And if you take along somebody you love, then that journey is going to be all the more enjoyable.
I can promise you right now that both good and bad things are going to happen to you in your life. Good and bad things happen to everybody. Some people are good at finding the miserable things in life, and some are good at finding the joy. No matter what happens to you, what you remember is up to you.”
― Matthew Buckley, Chickens in the Headlights
the solitude of Nature
“Not too long ago thousands spent their lives as recluses to find spiritual vision in the solitude of nature. Modern man need not become a hermit to achieve this goal, for it is neither ecstasy nor world-estranged mysticism his era demands, but a balance between quantitative and qualitative reality. Modern man, with his reduced capacity for intuitive perception, is unlikely to benefit from the contemplative life of a hermit in the wilderness. But what he can do is to give undivided attention, at times, to a natural phenomenon, observing it in detail, and recalling all the scientific facts about it he may remember. Gradually, however, he must silence his thoughts and, for moments at least, forget all his personal cares and desires, until nothing remains in his soul but awe for the miracle before him. Such efforts are like journeys beyond the boundaries of narrow self-love and, although the process of intuitive awakening is laborious and slow, its rewards are noticeable from the very first. If pursued through the course of years, something will begin to stir in the human soul, a sense of kinship with the forces of life consciousness which rule the world of plants and animals, and with the powers which determine the laws of matter. While analytical intellect may well be called the most precious fruit of the Modern Age, it must not be allowed to rule supreme in matters of cognition. If science is to bring happiness and real progress to the world, it needs the warmth of man’s heart just as much as the cold inquisitiveness of his brain.”
― Franz Winkler
Perfectly Imperfect
We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path.
Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind… there are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey.
I find parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered… we take different physical forms. But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect. At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are.
Think of what understanding this great orchestration could mean for relationships. Imagine interacting with others knowing that they too each share this parallel with the snowflake. Like you, they are headed to the same place and no matter what they may appear like to you, they have taken the perfect form for their journey. How strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly imperfect for our journey.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
we are tired of it..
We are tired of it. We are just plain sick and tired of it. Why should we slave and suffer and waste our lives trying to please you? We are done smiling and pretending that we eat like birds just because you say normal people do. We are fed up with dieting and suffering in gyms because you think we should look like you. We are fed up to here with you and your impossible standards. Who put you in charge of standards anyway?
We’ve had enough! No more of your fat-free and low-carb and grapefruit/papaya/generic fad diets, no more hypnosis and stomach stapling, no more herbal combinations that skinnies say will kill your appetite but only make you fart, we are sick of them! And you want to know what? More than anything we’re sick of always feeling guilty; guilty and embarrassed and soiled.
What exactly have we done that you’ve made us so ashamed of? What is it that you want us to give up?
Being who we are.
Look at you in your skimpy muscle shirts and your stonewashed Levi’s, 29-32, where 32 is the length of the legs. Go ahead, flaunt those numerals on your mingy narrow ass. Look into your vanity and your intense stupidity. Do you get it yet? You see us smiling and this is how you deceive yourselves, “Oh, but fat people are easygoing, they’re all so sweet and good-natured.”
Well, you are wrong.
We are done begging for your approval. We are through smiling and we have quit dissembling, so beware.
The tide has turned.
… Whose idea was it anyway, that all good people are shaped the same? Who ordained that, male and female, everybody has to be combed and fluffed and groomed and turned out in outfits you approve? Who decreed that everybody has to be thin and only the thin are fit to pass judgment on anybody who doesn’t fit, everybody some homogenized variation on supermodel wonderful? That is, everybody except us? We’ve seen the way you look at us. We’ve seen you staring in supermarkets and ice cream parlors and fast-food places, we’ve seen your sanctimonious disgust and we have heard your snickers as we pass. We know what you’re thinking as we place our orders: You’re going to eat that? Like it makes any difference to you, with your bony shanks and your thin, judgmental mouths. If you don’t want to see us whooping it up at Sixty-Nine Flavors at the county fair with our fried Onion Blossom and our mouths powdery from fried dough, that’s your problem, but not for long.
You think we can’t hear what you’re saying but we do. We hear it and we remember and believe us, we are pissed, because in a different world that would be you getting red in the face and all sweaty with anxiety because you don’t meet our demands. That would be you smiling and begging for approval. That would be you dancing the unhappy dance while at your backs we poked each other and laughed.
Well, get this.
We were born this way, most of us, and if you don’t like it then it’s damn well time for us to ask, not, what are we doing wrong, but what’s the matter with you?
Who exactly decided that wonderful was shaped like you instead of us? Forget what you see in the ads and on the holos that come into your living rooms, never mind the narrow-ass-ted models parading on your giant plasma screens, that isn’t real, and if you think everybody has to look like that, then neither are you. Listen. We didn’t get the way we are on purpose, to offend you, and we are the way we are and we can’t fucking help it so watch out.
We’re not going to take it anymore.
–Kit Reed, Thinner Than Thou
The Salacious Musings of Eros 