On the complex subject of Choices…we all make them



Ah yes…it is a complicated thing….to make a choice…Choices..Se all make them everyday. Some are good, and some are not so good. You can surrender your destiny to the desires of others, or you can make your own. You can chose a Master who loves you and you alone..or you can accept a man..who loves you and yet has other women he apparently “loves as well”. In business you can make a business choice with emprical data…and be covered…..and yet with affairs of the heart..you have to rely on more of the emotional approach…going with your gut..for in many cases you do not have enough emotional data to make a truly informed decision..then again emotions are not clinical data so you would not be expected to have that kind of rigor..  The point is that we can make choices that help us to move forward through life, adversity, loneliness…emotional need, or we may make choices that assist others to move beyond or through some of life’s issues…like aging…..emotional trauma of a loss of a loved one, etc.

William Jennings Bryan once said: 

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; 
it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” 

..he point of my missive..is that everyone has a choice.let me says this again…Everyone Has A Choice . I have know women in abusive relationships (Vanilla and BDSM) who have told me they stay because they have no choice…touting things like emotional stability, financial limitations to go out on their own..etc…Let me say this again..everyone has a choice ..to stay or leave..Choices are within everyone’s command. No one has to do, or is obligated to live their lives as others live. On the other hand, inevitably at some point in our lives, we witness, first-hand, choices that other people, friends, family members or colleagues make that we can clearly see are leading them down a slippery slope to either immediate devastating consequences, or a future that can be potentially harmful. 

I guess the other thing I have learned over the years..online and in real life..is you cannot do this for them. As caring people, we probably have all made efforts to try and assist other individuals to change or alter a choice so they won’t experience what we feel will be negative reactions, rejection, or, worse still, criminal prosecutions. While there is nothing inherently wrong or misguided about our good intentions, the ultimate choice people make is entirely up to them. We can’t live other people’s lives for them; we don’t want to put ourselves in any position that appears or demonstrates that we own their problems or own their choices. These people own their own lives; they make the choices, good or bad. 

Choices. We make hundreds of choices in our lives. Other people make hundreds of choices. We might wish and hope that we can change other peoples’ choices so they can avoid potential problems be that drug abuse, alcohol, relationships, parenting and on and on. But, we cannot make choices for others – what we can strive to do is offer constructive opinions or suggestions, when asked, or referrals to professionals who can assist in one’s decision-making. Be inspired bythe words of W. Clement Stone, they may help you, or may help others keep moving forward through the never-ending maze of choices: 


One of the hardest things though you learn with life is when you decide you want to start a new relationship and end the old one..there is a common misconception that you can still “remain friends” with the old lover/relationship. While I have seen it happen on rare occasion…it is very rare to truly recapture all the good you had when you were in a relationship…and have that sameness once you have a new person in your life….it can happen but alas not often enough for my liking. I think we shoudl always cherish those who brought you to where you are today but also do not discount when one makes the choice ..that damn choice thing again..there are emotions..and at least one of the two people in the relationship is a bit hurt..has to do with that deep seated insecurity we all harbor inside of being “less than good enough for someone else>” So please be thoughtful when you do make any choice..to pursue something new..whether a career….a relationship ..or a travel destination….we all need to make choices and more importantly we all need to live with the consequences of our choices…final thought….

“You always do what you want to do. This is true with every act. You may say that you had to do something, or that you were forced to, but actually, whatever you do, you do by choice. Only you have the power to choose for yourself.”

Make fun and good choices this weekend…



Sir Erospainter


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