On the subject of how hard BDSM relationships can be and that elusive fellow we call trust…

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On the subject…of Trust..if you  look it up in Webster  it says.. we  find  trust  is  defined as

“Confidence in the integrity, ability, character, and truth of a person or thing.  One in which confidence is placed.  Custody; care.  Something committed  into  the  care  of  another;  charge.    The  condition  and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one.  Reliance on something in the future; hope.”

 how many of those words are key elements of a Dominant  / submissive  or  BDSM  relationship.   In finding your Dom, aren’t you looking  for  someone  that  fits this description perfectly?  As a sub or slave, you are  getting ready  to turn your whole life over to Him, you’re expecting him to have the ability to care for you, you’re expecting He’s been honest and forthright with you.

 

It doesn’t  end that simply,  it’s not  just a matter of the Dominant being  open and honest with the submissive, the sub also has a responsibility to  be  just  as  open  with  the  Dom.   Regardless  of  the  role  in  this lifestyle,  misleading  your  partner  can  only  end up backfiring on you.

 

Whether it is trusting  limits  will  be  respected,  trusting of judgment in making decisions,  or  trusting  in aftercare and follow thru, there are a wide and  diverse  range  of  issues  to  be considered.   Whatever the cost,   whatever  the  effort  involved,  both  the  Dominant  and  the submissive  must  make  every  effort  to  always  be  open  and  very candid.   If  issues are approached in the initial stage of a relationship that your not quite  ready to  reveal to your partner, then that should be stated.   Don’t  try to  skirt the issue,  don’t try telling a “white lie” to get around it.   Be open and honest,  tell your partner you are not yet ready to  discuss  that  issue.   Given  time, a bit of patience, as you begin to truly trust your partner you’ll find yourself begin to open up.  

 

Trust, like love doesn’t happen instantly.  Yes, we have all learned todevelop a bit of an instinct or inner feeling, and for most of us, more often than not, if we follow those feelings we’ll find we’re right.  But true unquestioned trust will take time to establish.  Full and  complete  trust  in  your  partner  will  be the  difference between a successful D/s  relationship and a relationship filled with hurt,  fear and anger

BDSM relationships are actually harder in some aspects because of the amount of trust that is involved.,,because there is more at stake than a vanilla relatioship..You are trusting this person with submissive secrets that some hide from their closest friends and family. Submissives also trust their bodies and minds to the Dominant that they have chosen. Dominants are in a stressful position because We are charged with the sub/slaves health, safety and well-being both mental and physical. This is not something that We take lightly.

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